(Get ready for a very long and boring post... >.<)
Two weeks before (extended) deadline
Superman Supervisor: It's quite unrealistic to get a paper submitted in time...
Useless Student: Ok.
1.5 weeks before deadline
Superman Supervisor: You need to try to get to the root of the problem. You need to find what the real problem is? Is it *--* ? Or is it the *--*? Or is it both?
Useless Student: Everything!!! (>.<)
Superman Supervisor: Why do you say that?
Useless Student: . . .
1.4 weeks before deadline
Superman Supervisor: Looks promising...
Useless Student: . . .
1.2 weeks before deadline
The Head of School: Due to the power outage on Friday, it is possible for people to become locked inside the labs with no means of escape. For health and safety reasons, the labs are off-limits throughout this weekend. Anybody caught entering the labs will be thrown into prison!
Useless Student: Yippee!!
6 days before deadline
Superman Supervisor: How's progress?
Useless Student: I've been testing this and that and *blah blah blah*...
Superman Supervisor: Quite unlikely that we'll submit anything, but it's still possible.
Useless Student: (O.o?)>
5 days before deadline
Superman Supervisor: Here's my improved *--* detector that I came up with while you were off playing in Scotland. Make good use of it!!
Useless Student: You are the best supervisor in the world!
4 days before deadline
Useless Student: (O.o). Work dammit!! Work!!! @&#*$#!! *crash boom bang* (>.<)
3 days before deadline
Superman Supervisor: What is the problem?!
Useless Student: I don't know!! (O.o)
Superman Supervisor: *exasperated at useless student*
Useless Student: *exasperated at useless self*
2 days before deadline
Superman Supervisor: I've been testing out my new idea... *explains idea*
Useless Student: Genius!!
Superman Supervisor: Pity it didn't work that well.
Useless Student: . . .
Superman Supervisor: But you should start writing something up and let's just hope this will magically work overnight.
Useless Student: . . .
On facebook...
1 day before deadline, noon
Superman Supervisor: I think it's better if I concentrate on my other papers which seem more promising at the moment. Maybe we should go for another conference instead.
Useless Student: It's a shame. And here I am all ready to camp here in the lab tonight. I've even brought my dinner, towel, shampoo, sleeping bag, pyjamas...
Superman Supervisor: (-.-||||||)
On facebook...
1 day before deadline, late afternoon
Useless Student: Oh look! 10% increase in accuracy!!
Superman Supervisor: Ooh interesting... how did you get that?
Useless Student: I've **----** the ***------** with **------** and **----- confidential discussion -----**
Superman Supervisor: Ok, let's try improving this by ***--- top secret conspiracy discussion ----**** Now implement it and see how it goes!!
On facebook...
Fortunately, I'm all prepared with my obento made full of love by me!
1 day before deadline, (very) late evening
Useless Student: Nope... that didn't help, for obvious reasons..
Superman Supervisor: But if we do this and this...
Useless Student: Ooh... amazing!! Further 10% increase!!
Superman Supervisor: Ok, so we'll write a paper tomorrow in one day.
Useless Student: (O.o)
1 day before deadline, close to midnight
Useless Student: *tweak* *tweak* *tweak* Yippee!! 5% increase!!
The things people draw when they start going bonkers...
12 hours to deadline
Superman Supervisor: We need to average the results a bit so that it won't seem like we're picking the best results only...
Useless Student: Ok... whatever you say...
On facebook...
11 hours to deadline
Superman Supervisor: Ok, I'll do *this this this this and this* and you do *this this and this*.
Useless Student: (@__@)
My main meal for the whole day.
7 hours to deadline
Superman Supervisor: So ...?
Useless Student: This diagram is done, that one is done *blah blah blah*
Superman Supervisor: I've completely rewritten your lousy introduction. I haven't written the methods section yet.
Useless Student: . . .
Some healthy snacks, and a knife
4 hours to deadline
Superman Supervisor: Only 2 paragraphs? What have you been doing the whole day?!
Useless Student: (O_o) (*_*) (>_<) (*_+) (+_o) (@_o) . . .
My desk. With papers everywhere. And a mug of Chinese tea to keep me sane.
2 hours to deadline
Superman Supervisor: Ok, we need to cut our paper down from 13 pages to 9 pages (excluding references). You have 2 hours.
Useless Student: (o.O ) ( O.o) (o.O ) ( O.o) (>.<;)
1 hour to deadline
Useless Student: **arggh!!!!** *bangs head on table, computer and everywhere*
Superman Supervisor: How in the world did you reduce the paper from 13 pages to 14 pages?!
Useless Student: (>.<) (*_*) (+_+) O(_ _)o
Superman supervisor to the rescue!!!
Superman Supervisor: Put this here, make this smaller, negative margins, negative vertical space, take this out, squeeze this in ...
Useless Student: (o.O) (@_@) (>.<)
15 minutes to deadline
Superman Supervisor: *clicks submit button*
Useless Student: *relieved*
Superman Supervisor: Technically we still have one more hour... (thanks to DST). So, go make yourself useful and find all errors in the paper!
Useless Student: (>.<) (O.o)
30 minutes to TRUE deadline
Useless Student: I made a grammatical mistake here, and another there, and a typo there, and I forgot to include this, and that as well...
Superman supervisor: *falls over*
20 minutes to TRUE deadline
Superman Supervisor: Wait, what in the world is this diagram doing on page 10? This means we're still over the page limit!
Useless Student: (O.o!)
Superman Supervisor: Ok, reduce more vertical space, throw this out, make that smaller, blah blah blah... 20 minutes to squeeze everything into the page limit or it'll be rejected anyway... this should be fun...
5 minutes to TRUE deadline
Superman Supervisor: Ok, the most exciting thing about this system is that you have to delete your old submission first before uploading a new one...
Useless Student: (O.o)
Superman Supervisor: Fingers crossed. *delete* . . . *upload* . . . *submit* . . . success.
Useless Student: *relieved* o(_ _)o
0 minutes to TRUE deadline
Superman Supevisor: Hope this was a good learning experience for you!
Useless Student: (*_*) (+_+)? (@_@) (_ _)
I think there were about 10 packets of crisps wrappers in there...
1:10. AM.
After I've finally managed to crawl home, I had a craving for some proper food. Managed to make myself a microwavable burger and a hot mug of Milo.
Fortunately for me, the next day was a bank holiday (^^)
Makes you really want to be a researcher, doesn't it? (>.<)